This wk pretty packed with lots of activities.. had a happy wk.. this wk is also the wk I stepped into the 1st qtr of my century of life.. it meant I'm growing old as well.. sobz.. hope I'll achieve new accomplishments in the future.. had my b'day cel with my uni kakis, colleagues & sec sch kakis... was surprise tt my colleagues celebrated for me as I just joined the firm.. thank you all..


My uni friends..


My b'day cake..


Cake from my colleagues..


My colleagues..


My colleagues..


More Pressies...

Our dinner at pasta @ waruku..









My sec sch friends..

Went for interview at XX this wk too.. might seem absurb when I have not even worked long there & I'm gg for interview again.. gaving up XXX really hurts with it being a place I ever wanna get in so I dont wanna give up anymore.. hope to open up myself to more opportunities.. the place is really nice & its really a gd firm too.. it wud have been wonderful if I can get in but still thinking over.. the results not out yet but I guess my chance are low.. I'm tongue tied at most of the qns he asked.. its the worst ever interview I ever been to, case study to discuss & asking my aspiration in 20-30 yrs time when I havent even started my career.. haiz.. still doubtful of the route ahead.. wonder what sld I do to be really happy.. may god bless me with intelligence & gd luck..

need a gd rest.. been so tired these few days... its fri tml!! yeah!!

hasnt been gd for working life.. its hard to depict what I'm feeling & the despair I'm experiencing.. prob what wj says is right, she cant understand how am I feeling right now & cant say much but decided to give myself a chance to try.. whatever the final decision is, I'll brave thru the journey.. there's no gd indication either, does tt means neither is a correct choice? whats the route ahead.. feeling so demoralised... haiz..

yesh!! gonna stepped into 1/4 of the century soon as jas said.. age catching up, lao ren le.. my b'day wish.. hmm.. for everything gd to befall!! I'm a greedy woman.. Haa.. had my b'day cel with yan, yve & jas on fri.. we had our dinner at Clarity Cafe.. the portion is pretty big & the four of us couldnt finish it.. after shopping ard, we made our way to Shanghai Jazz for chill out session.. we had smthg diff this time round.. white wine for the four of us!! the chillout place is really chilling but a nice experience nonetheless.. for the highlight of the night, our dearest devil-ish yve suggested hard liquor for me but luckily I was spared from 'graveyard'.. coz I still wanna go home without hugging a dustbin or having someone to carry me back.. haa.. the threesome decided on waterfall for me in the end.. thank you gals for everything as well as my first branded good - a coach pouch for my b'day gift..


waiting for my waterfall...


the babes (1)


the babes (2)


the babes (3)




My pressie!!

Our first befriender prog started on sat.. its a diff experience this time, more attention is given to a resident we will be attached to.. hopefully as time goes along, they will be more familiarised with us & open up to us more.. its a refreshing way of talking to them but I'm sorry to other residents who called me there but I couldnt sit down with them.. I was planted with a surprise too!! I'm really a mi hu person, believing jx tt he really had smthg to show me.. thank you all who planned my b'day cel for me.. well.. except for the candles!! one is enuff but XX are all implanted there.. but it was really a surprise..


Jon with my cake.. forgot what wish I made..


All smiles..


Mwh family..

really appreciate & thanks to all my friends.. stepped into a new chapter of life & may everything be smooth & blessed with luck... its Mon again.. Dread!! prob I sld find a job which I look fwd to gg everyday...

when I tot tts the end, one came after another.. I sld be feeling happy but rather, I'm feeling so caught up..in confusion state these days.. feeling tt I have been giving up too much & wonder if its all worth it.. afraid to feel regret but I have no ans.. was just telling myself how nice if it was tt, & just few days later, it really did happen.. will I pick up money from the street if I said it out of the blue?

feeling so restless these days.. its almost 1 mth but learning is so slow, wondering what have I learn & achieve.. feeling so useless & adding no value at times.. there are times when I just sit there & read.. it might not be tt bad but it made my mood drop to the pit.. sat seems to be my happiest day, nv have I feel gg mwh wud be so relieving & joyous.. it wasnt meant as a place for turning off unhappiness but at least doing smthg I find fulfilling & happy..

what to do now? to stay or to leave?

was feeling bottled up these days which caused my pocket a huge hole as shopping will make my day!! met xm & wj for dinner y'day but a quick one as xm has to go back to work.. not tt she works ot but she work from 5pm-2am.. met yan tonight for dinner.. we ate our fav Hup Hup.. heez.. 2 happy gals now.. its been a long time since we last ate there.. reminds me of the time where we find our fav food there.. yummy!!

its fri tml!! my motivation!! having dinner with jas, yve & yan tml.. then more dinner feasts to come next wk.. oh mine, I'll need to run more mills to compensate for the extra fats on me..

This CNY pretty toned down.. but I'm happy to just laze ard, nuai in bed & watch tv all day, to the pt I experienced headache.. Haa.. if I dont do it now, when's my next holi coming up?? I cant take leave for my first 6 mths or until my probation is over.. haiz.. cant wait for 21 Mar.. working life sure sucks.. I got my new hp too as a motivation to jia you or prob its juz a way of giving myself an excuse to buy smthg!! Heez.. was tempted by xm.. haa.. cant help myself but being at the mercy of my swaying determination.. I could have save $30 bucks after knowing J bought it on CNY eve & every phones are discounted at $30 less.. I bought mine just 1 day earlier.. Humph!!! he was commenting I sld have waited.. but but but.. I'm working & by the time all shops wud have closed for the day..

sat went shopping with xm as mum went out with my cousin & I didnt want to go.. come to realise tt we sld start to communicate & care more abt our loved ones as we might missed a lot of whats happening to them.. so much have happen to 2nd uncle's family but we knew so little.. hope everything will go well for them..

went sentosa with xm, wj & j to the flower festival.. last yr was much nicer.. as what the newspaper said, could see the traces of what visitors have done, plucking away the petals & stepping on them.. how could pple do this when there this is for everyone to drop by to see this once a yr?? the weather is really hot too, I'm burnt.. xm was saying my face is so red, I tot she was kidding me but its not!! sunburn on my face as well as my back.. oh mine!! ate marche for dinner, ate our fill, shopped to our heart contents before the dreadful Mon comes again.. its work tml!! as well as my rotting session..

last wk: my memory kinda failing.. couldnt really remz what happened for the last wk (prob what they say abt piggies in the rat yr is true? being forgetful.. Haa..)except bz learning the ropes at work.. getting along well with everyone for now, still trying my best at work & to mingle well with everyone.. was at chinatown last fri, it was drizzling hard & the tents were filled with water.. beware when you see that the tents get 'heavy', it just become water bombs.. but I guess nancy is the happiest with her 'goods of victory'.. we settled down for dessert as there wasnt much for me to buy with every stalls selling almost the same stuffs..

sat: spend my day at mwh session singing & playing along with the residents to celebrate cny.. one funny incident happen to xm.. there was a grp of residents gg for an outing to celebrate cny, there's this auntie who couldnt go along & started to cry when they are departing.. she started to rest her head on xm's shoulder.. oh mine.. I was walking towards her, wanting to console but retract my steps when she nearly laid down on her shoulder.. haa.. we had fun & I do hope the residents had their share of joy.. wished that we really brought them happiness & the companionship which they lack.. we'll be starting our befriender prog soon, aiding them to integrate back into the society.. tts our next mission!! we met up with J after tt for dinner.. had curry fishhead, chicken wings & veg.. yummy.. its nice.. thumbs up!! we settled down at tcc for coffee & tea.. a tiring day...

sun: met xm, wj, ej & j for kayaking.. but but but... the weather wasnt nice to us at all.. to top it up, the whole shop tt rents out kayak was GONE!! the shop was tore down & even the toilets!! oh mine!! wj was so upset.. haa.. we ended settling down at the food center for food.. it started to pour as time passed.. haiz... we quickly made our way to tamp mall when the rain gets smaller.. witness the birth of xm's phone after a much awaited time.. haa.. one of the sales personnel was commenting her phone was the 2nd series of camera phone.. to think tt so many camera phones have been released in the market, her phone is really an antique.. haa.. ej & I went home after tt as we have tons of clothes to iron.. DREAD!! tts one of the bad pts of working life..

its chu yi today!! wishing all my friends all the best for the rat year.. may what they wish for come true, stay happy always & sadness to stay away.. had lunch gathering y'day with all my colleagues.. heez.. I shared the cab with MD & M to our destination which got me really tense up.. was afraid what sld I talk to them.. haa.. but all ends well & found tt MD was pretty nice when we are not working.. haa.. he has his firm side when coming to work but besides tt, he likes to make the atmosphere lively & happy.. dined at orchard hotel.. we were all so stuffed!! had 8 dishes which includes peking duck, suckling pig (the whole pig!!), soup, veg, pork, prawns, spring rolls & noodles.. I surrendered at the 2nd dish but still had to go on.. MD & M had beer & M ended up with a reddened face.. haa.. tts what happen when he drinks.. btw.. why are almost all the dishes all meat?? coz both MD & M are meat lovers.. there are many leftovers so M packed them all back coz most shops wud be closed but he's flying back home for holi today.. in fact, I have to work until 6pm, was still feeling sad but MD asked if I have anything impt to do & he just say go home!! Haa.. everyone was released home early after our lunch except for M who still has unfinished jobs to settle before he fly off.. yeah!! guess I was really tired, slept my way home..

even thou all are gg on smoothly now but my heart swayed when I rec'd the email.. was so tempted when I saw it.. wonder if I'll regret if I give up & not even giving it a try, be it be a success or failure.. still pondering..

well... cant really remz what happen for the past few days except tt feeling of tiredness, still trying to get use to waking up early..

went Chinatown last Fri with bao & hui for some early CNY shopping, didnt buy much as the excitment is diminishing with years passing by but gg again tml with bao & nancy.. now I know why adults been saying only kids are the most excited lot while adults prefer to rest when there's holi.. its been a long time since I last saw hui, glad tt she's doing well & her family as well.. went for mwh session as usual on sat & we had steamboat with other volunteers after the session.. it was fun dining together as we usually went shopping on our own instead of eating dinner with them.. nonetheless, had a fun wkend..

things at work starting to pick up this wk.. except for some readings done, I finally get my hands on to do my first assignment.. but of course its still a long way to understanding the way of doing stuffs as I'm still at the preliminary stage & not even halfway there.. but everyone pretty patient with me & guiding me along the way.. so far, everything's good & colleagues are great, just that I still need to learn to break thru my shyness.. some friends laugh off at this word but I'm really lacking in this skill so gonna work hard.. two wks reaching & 5 mths 2 wks more of probation.. hope I'll survive thru..

suay things happen this wk as well.. bus was so slow on tues (I think its tues), I had to get off the bus quickly with 10 mins left to reach office so quickly hail a cab.. from north bridge rd to south bridge rd cost me $7.30.. OH MINE!!! north to south so ex ex ex... my heart is bleeding.. but no choice.. sobz... began LS-ing on mon & tues then y'day was down with gum infection, the same one experienced last yr when I was having my mid term tests.. its back again!! feeling so terrible & feverish the whole day but nonetheless worked till 7pm when I can hang on no longer.. went to see a dentist where I had a injection on my gum.. also did fillings.. cost me $145 (not tt I didnt wanna claim but have no idea how to.. haa..).. feeling so broke now.. cant wait for feb to end to get my PAY check!!! as for now, down with flu.. guess this yr is true tt piggies are bad with health matters.. need a gd rest..

hope the journey ahead will be a smooth one with hopes & achievements.. pls bless me with luck, intelligence & ren yuan yay...

feeling so sad at times.. prob I didnt try hard enuff or am I too much of an introvert? I wish I could be like any other pple who find it almost easy to relate to pple, talk to pple & comfortable chatting with just anyone who comes along.. when will I become someone like tt?? xm.. I'm really sorry.. hearing me grumble every single day & thank you for accompanying me thru this period.. feeling so bottled up, I really wish I could find a hole to cry it out.. its just a matter of myself, not bcoz of anyone.. they treat me well, none of the sort of the experienced bullying the new ones.. prob I'm too emotional.. a desp need to strengthen what I lack..

anyway... I'll jia you, try my very best to conquer all barriers & hurdles!!

got my name cards this wk!! imprinted with my very own name except for the designation which is diff from what I tot.. M was saying with these cards, I'm on to another stage now.. but who do they give them to?? anyway, kept all in the drawer..

yeah!! tml gg out with bao & hui to ct.. its finally fri!! now do I realise the real joy of what all working pple feel.. hoping to get my psp soon when the stock comes in [hint hint**bao].. heez but I know its out of ctrl of when it will come.. I'll get to play it during my lunch break in future as well as on the way to & fro work.. yeah!!

It's first day of work today.. feel kinda out of place with my formal wear and its a definite tata to sch life.. the train is so so so packed & everyone's walking very fast while I strolled my way to work coz I'm super early.. sat by the side of the river waiting for the time to pass as well as nursing my painful leg.. now its all filled with blisters.. sobz sobz..

the day is spent reading, reading & more reading then walked ard, ard & ard.. trying my best to mingle with them but I still have a long way to improve my interpersonal skills, always find myself having difficulties finding a topic.. after all the intro, really assessing myself if I'll be able to handle, it sure seems tough.. no matter how hard I tried to avoid acc, its stuck onto me thou appearing in another form.. even thou who's left are few, I still have my welcome lunch.. heez.. ate indian food together with them in office as they kind of lazy to go out but do appreciate what they done to make me feel welcome & in all ways to aid me in learning the basics.. & really big thanks to all friends who sent their msg of encouragement, offering to eat lunch with me & asking abt how's my 1st day.. thank you all for remembering.. appreciate MD's email too.. hope I'll adapt well & the transition from full time student to full time in the working industry.. & also hoping I'll be able to learn lots of things.. may god bless me thru the rest of the journey...

cant wait for wkend to come.. CUI after just 1 day.. feeling so tired...

today is the last day of holi.. sobz.. :( from tml onwards, it will be a whole diff lifestyle.. not particularly excited when everyone asked if I am.. guess there's still a feeling of insecurity, if I'm up to the job & what kind of pple I'll be facing in future.. everything been done for me but MD & M wont be in for my first day.. lots of familiarization work to be done with no local pple ard me anymore.. I'm the only 'local product' there, grad from local uni & till date, stayed all my life in s'pore & my ang mo has no substance.. will I end up 'yo! yo!' in future?? oh mine!! also, have to start stocking up clothes for working life as all of mine seem to too 'kiddish' or more for shopping.. haiz.. shopped g2000 almost every shopping trip, all seem the same to me & so dull.. wished myself luck for tml.. Jia You!!!

spent my tues back in sch with my uni kakis.. might seem crazy but wanna spend more time together with friends who will all be busy soon with job commitments in the future.. its a total different feeling this time rd, looking at the people ard me, which reminds me of the time in sch.. bz printing notes, studying in lib, rushing for lect, thinking what to eat for lunch, finding seats in canteens, gossiping abt pple we saw.. a replicate of myself but now seeing the past from others.. def missed the life of sch & wonder at times how nice if its still sch days.. even thou we might have to brood over tests, exams, projs and assignments but those days seem to be more fun than what I'm gonna face in the future.. the tot of working till I retire & to worry abt the future seems a route so dark.. fear seems to be gripping me now, wonder if I wud be able to achieve what pple expect of me..

ate my salmon don!! its still yummy as before.. much nicer than what the prog on channel u recommend at the deck.. heez.. after which its fruit juice at the deck.. went vivo after which as xm signing her contract with my dream co.. guess I have to let go to move ahead, no point harping on whats no longer possible.. undeniable, it hurts to let go what I hold on to & now I have to let go.. I must work hard no matter where I am!! life being a crouch potatoe ending soon.. working life ahead starting from next wk.. I wanna play some more!!! heez...

LS quite a few times today, ended up I only manage to run only 4km as my stomach starts to ache.. sobz.. meeting LP for lunch today, its been quite a while since I last saw her after I left the co.. will meet up with bao & nancy later on for dinner.. more dinings ahead for fri & sat.. enjoy the last bit of my holi before I embark on my next stage of life.. Jia You 10!!