Hard day.. hard paper..

juz finish a paper.. i can only say i HATE economics.. or sld I say I'm not someone into econs & I drag myself into this dilemma? prob I shouldnt be here at all, instead, to do smthg I enjoy & familiar.. but anyway, I'm almost there so I can only just hang on.. have another paper later in the evening.. wonder will the blow from macro add on.. haiz.. feeling so demoralised now.. I have to buck up for econs!!! study real hard & praying hard I'll maintain my cap.. god, please save me.. bless me with a brain with economic thinking no matter which sch of thoughts.. thou I prefer keynes.. gtg catch a wink wink b4 studying for BI...

Its CNY again...

time flies.. its another year, CNY here... today is chu san, bao & nancy will be coming later & we'll go to shan's house later.. reunion dinner is the same old style with the same old food but I'm happy eating all the food prepared by mummy & daddy.. but I scaled my middle finger.. sobz.. & in the night i got bitten by dont know what.. there are now so many red marks on my legs & my 2nd finger is swollen like pig's hand.. sobz.. went to san yi's house on chu yi.. its been so long since I last saw san yi & realise time takes away youth real fast.. san yi aged a lot & she's feeling pain at the back & leg.. so xin teng... juz hours ago went to san po's hse & saw kor kor & xiao jie jie's sons.. really cute but sad that we are not close to them, dont even know their names.. can only remember san yi's side grandsons & granddaughters.. hmm... but I'm happy to see xiao jie jie, long time nv see her le...

Later in the day I'll be gg sentosa to see the flowers!!!! HAPPY!!! but sadly, i'll be gg back to hostel to mug for mid-term tests soon.. there are so many tests ahead & assignments due, my mind is bothered by them... haiz... fun is ending soon & I'll have to buck up!!! YILIN, JIA YOU!!! & ya... I'm officially 24!! sad.. aging & pondering what have I accomplished except progressing towards realising mine & mum's wishes... I must make my life more exciting & know more friends yay.. must make the best out of my uni life since its gonna end soon.. sad..

God... please bless me.. with luck.. I need lots of it...

Its been 1 mth since I'm staying in hostel!!! Haa... I've been having fun, knowing more friends & they are all very nice & fun pple.. I'm so happy here!! prob the only bad side is when I need to wash clothes!! there's really intensive competition here, sharing 8 washing machine & 4 dryers with people from 2/3 levels.. OMG!! I have to always keep track of the time so that I can grab the first dryer I see.. but its also a fun part itself.. Haa.. contradicting right??

CNY is stepping near.. but this wk has been a hmmm.... how sld I describe it? thou CNY is near but knowing tt my friend will not be able to enjoy it as in the past made my heart ache for her.. till now, it's still hard to accept the reality even for me let alone her.. Jas's bro met with an accident & passed away, looking at her made me wanna cry with her, having to put up a strong front in front of all others & esp for her parents.. I just hope I can be the friend to be there for her if whenever she needs someone to talk to or go walk walk with.. I know I've been a bad friend, not keeping in constant contact with her & only when something happen, I remember her presence.. but no matter what, I hope to be always there for her.. I'll always be here for u yay, thou u wont see this blog but its from the bottom of my heart.. I guess everyone hope its a dream & not reality.. but whats lost can never catch hold of it anymore..

The recent fri, sat & sun (09/02-11/02) was spent in chalet, the purpose was to celebrate my b'day.. time really flies & I'm 24 this year already!!! pondering what have I accomplished this year?? graduation is not far but I cant bear to leave sch.. Haa.. wondering again what will I be in the future..

V'day was spent with xm at vivocity.. didnt want to stay alone in hostel, tt would be so sad.. we ate dinner together & shop ard.. Today (15/02) we learn how to play the angklung, it was quite fun.. I'm playing the B note but I only have probably ard 5 notes to play, out of the whole song.. so little, right?? It's also block supper celebrating CNY tonight.. Its fun as we gather together to makan & chit chat.. I hope time would just stop here & the fun would just go on.. Haa.. god, please bless me with getting a hall next sem, please??

gtg tidur now or else I wont be able to wake up for 9am class.. feeling so sleepy & its macro class again.. I hate tt class!! Liu Jia!! pls dont call me up to the board!!! ZzzZzzzz... May I have a gd sleep.. sweet dreams...

I'm back at home today!! Its been 2 wks in hostel & I'm enjoying every min of it.. Its been fun learning to be independent, doing all the bits of my life where mummy used to do it nicely for me.. now I know how hard all the work are.. have to do my laudary, clean the room & keeping things tidy.. but everyday have been a learning day & its fun without any restriction imposed on me, no one to nag at me & I can go out as late as I want.. Haa.. I'm getting to know more people now & they are really nice..
I went for rebonding on tues & it was a bad choice.. now my hair is in a mess with uneven cut & bad rebond.. wonder if they have a time slot for me to do retification.. I'm so sad.. :'( wanna have a nice hairstyle for CNY but its so bad now.. gonna call them later..
Went to MWH this sat, we did handicraft.. learn how to do dragonfly & heart-shaped scent bag.. It was fun.. but smelling the lavender flowers for the whole session made everyone's head so pain.. xm even came down with a fever.. oh no.. after the session. I went PS to meet up with nancy & bao.. went shopping ard.. was feeling so tired as I slept at 3am the prev night.. talking abt the prev night.. I went to the toilet at ard 2.30am, wanted to brush my teeth b4 heading to bed but I keep hearing some noises.. in the end, after I finish pee-ing, I dash out of the toilet as fast as my 2 short legs can carry me.. went toilet again at ard 6.30am, the noise is still there.. so scary.. when I finally wake up at 8.30, the noise is no longer there!!! OMG.. have I been hearing noises??
god, please bless me... please...

Its a rainy day but a fun one...

its a sneezy day for me.. nose not feeling well & now I have a sore eye.. tried to finish my metrics tut this morning but to no success.. Haa.. it was so difficult.. wonder if I will pass this mod.. :'( in the afternoon, went to the welfare moral home at Harbourfront.. the old folks there are either tied down by illness or mentally disabled.. looking at them, I wonder where would I be down the road maybe in 30 or 40 years time.. I definitely hope I wont end up in a old folks home & of course I'll never dump my parents there even if I dont have a single penny.. the old folks are so happy when they see us, they would all come & shake our hands.. I've made new friends today too, got to know more people now.. Haa.. thou not tt close but it was fun experiencing new things & meeting new people.. xm & I paired up to take care of roslan, he's not too bad, just tt initially he dont talk at all but when we settle down at the coffee shop, he was talking all the way thru.. but I dont understand a single word!! Haa.. tried to use the bahasa words I know but its pte ltd!! coz I cant even form a complete sentence.. there was also another uncle who talk to us abt his past when he was a young kid & abt the japan evading s'pore.. it was nice listening to the little stories he told us.. its my 1st time but I had a fulfilling day there.. after the activity, xm, shimin & i went vivocity to shop ard.. its the 1st time I took a bus back from shopping & back to the hostel.. its been 2 wks since I'm in hostel, didnt really know much friends & not close to any of them.. sad.. hope things will pick up.. I'm not someone anti-social but it seem like I always have difficulties knowing new people.. haiz.. god, please bless me..

Independence Day...

Its my 2nd night here in the hostel, from Mon onwards, my day will start here & end here as well.. will only be gg home on wkends.. moved in last thurs with the basic stuffs & daddy drove me in on Sun with the remaining stuffs I wanna bring in.. There's so much things to bring!! It was a sudden call which realise my dream of living in the hostel but life wasn't really what I expected.. met thus far 2 neighbours but arent close with them.. even thou I know juli juz live at the other end, didnt knock on her door to say hi.. partly bcoz I've been MIA in her life for so long & it will seem tt bcoz I wanna have a friend in an unfamiliar place then do I approach her.. havent met her along the common corridor yet but will we meet someday? missed the days we had back in cambodia, & it juz seem like the past where we live in the same bunk.. but things are no longer the same again & I have caused it somehow.. Sobz.. there's nothing I can do to reverse the situation.. Its eating breakfast & dinner alone since coming here, havent found a meal mate or someone I can pop my head in to chit chat.. luckily I still have xm to eat lunch with me or else I wonder will I become someone who dont talk anymore.. feeling kind of sad coz havent really befriend anyone to hang out together, always see a big gang of people eating together, chatting & laughing but I'm always alone.. I always find people who eat alone vry 'qi liang' & my heart sour at the sight, I hate seeing people eating alone but now I'm the actress in this episode.. god, will things improve? god.. please bless me..

A blurry blurry me....

It was a usual sleepy day for me.. attended macro lect for the first time, the lecturer was pretty interesting & cute, the way he talk is cute.. Haa.. He's from UK & first time teaching in NUS.. He is pretty detail in his teaching & insisted in waiting for the buzzer to go off to test whether it really works.. so time juz drag on & on until 11.45am finally arrives!! Up next is tpt lect, his lect can be interesting at times but I feel just so sleep.. After the lect, went to the lib to print tpt readings for myself as well as xm.. after which, I stood in front of the photocopying machines perspiring for 2.5 hrs photocopying fin. readings, it was so hot & the book is so heavy.. I had to carry them all the way back home.. had to bring it again back to sch on fri coz ns says she wanna photocopy.. Haiz.. had to bring the big stack again to sch & back home again.. we checked our balloting result in sch after the photocopying session.. Oh no!! I'm allocated classes which are so incompatible, making me having a 6 hrs break.. what am I gg to do in sch?? god, will you please save me?? hopefully, at the manual registration, i'll get to change or during the swapping session.. wanted to buy the macro tb but the bookshop was closed.. in the end, xm & I ate at clementi b4 heading home..

woke up real early this morning thinking that I can do my balloting but I was so wrong.. I can only access cors at 10am.. in the end, watched tv until it was time again. I'm so so so blur... beyond words.. I made a blunder with my cors ranking & now I'm the only one in metrics.. I'm so sad!!! hopefully, i'll meet nice classmates & most importantly nice tutor.. thats not the only blur things I've done.. xm told me abt gaps which I must do but I totally 4gotten abt it after finishing msn-ing her.. only remz it on the bus home from bugis.. bought another levis jeans, my pocket is seriously burning a hole.. I need to cure my blur-ness & forgetful-ness.. god, please bless me with luck.. I need lotsa it..

the first week since sch started..

It's been 1 wk since sch started.. it a hard fought battle even before sch started, battling with other schoolmates I have nv met for that pathetic few places for econs.. Only managed to get 1 econ pre-allocated which means I have to bid for the other 3 econs.. Haiz.. In the end, I lost 1609 pts for my 3 econs, feeling the pinch even till now but I dont have much of a choice, isn't it?? taking 4 econs with bahasa indonesia this sem, wonder if I wud be able to cope with the workload.. now I can only cross my finger & pray for the best.. May miracles befall on me!! haven't started on any readings yet, the mood & motivation is just not there.. feeling so lazy.. attended tpt, metrics & fin. econs lecture but not a single one interests me, it only made me terrified of the sem ahead.. so far metrics seem alright so hopefully i'll sink in to schooling again..

tried new things for the past few wks too, CL, NB & LO (another class), it was fun.. love the high impact exercise & sweating it all out.. I like the LO instructor, she is so pretty & nice!! compared to running which I may end up fainting, the ones I tried so far are fun & sweating it all out w/o feeling faint.. I muz try KB soon, sure it will be fun...

before school started, xiumei, shidah, sarah & I went to east coast for cycling even thou I didnt know how to.. Haa... Alvin has been LS-ing for the past few days so couldnt join us.. luckily there was xm who 'lobang' me all the way.. It was fun even thou I got sun burn & my butt hurt!! Haa.. hope we'll have another outing soon.. on wed, met xiumei, shidah & jolin to walk walk @ TM.. bought so much things, my pocket is burning a hole..

met baomei for dinner on thurs, we saw this bag @ taka hanging on display.. I love that bag immediately!! It was golden in colour with flowers print. When we walk over to the area for bags, we found out that the one high on top for display was the last piece!! I was so sad when the sales lady said they had tried all ways to get it when others before me wanted tt bag too but couldnt get it.. I was so disappointed!!! When I went back to have a last look, I saw the lady telling me, she found a way to get it!! In the end, she use a umbrella to get it!! Haa.. I was so happy, I bought the bag thou I find it a little ex, but I was happy coz it was so pretty, I loved it!!

Friday was a long & dready day, attended lesson till 8pm.. the first word tt I remz till now is 'Ibu'.. when the lecturer ask us do you know what is the meaning of "Ibu", i tot it was teacher.. haa... but it was referring to mother... now I got 8 Ibu whom I have yet to meet.. Hope I'll love bahasa...

sat was sleep & sleep & sleep.. but made it up on sun with LO class.. wanted to go KB on sat but it was raining all day.. Haiz.. the rain has spoil all my activities.. but nvm, the rain has also stop me from gg out which might lead to 'outflow'.. Haa.. I must buck up next wk, do some readings & not be so slack.. have to get all my tb & notes printed by tml so tt I can bury myself under the books on tues... Yilin!! jia you!! May god bless me...

Tired...

Its been quite some time since I last jot down anything.. had a tiring week rushing through tutorials and readings.. life pretty packed with all the stuffs that sometimes I can hardly breath, there are just tons of things to be done but my brain just dont seem to work well this semester.. I guess after 3 mths of holi, past hard work seem to be washed away.. Its time to buck up, mid term test will be here again.. The break is finally here!! but the break will involve rushing my proposal out.. a lot of things have happen for the past few days, one of them being my sad news for my SEP but I'll try anyway. If I dont give it a try, there is not even a hope. I just have to pray hard micracles will happen.. May things all turn well..

Just cleared all my readings, now I have to think hard what I would like to do for my GEK.. I need more inspirations which seem to be lacking right now.. Please give me some enlightenment as to where I sld head.. Feeling sick, having a sore throat and headache at this moment of time makes me only think of sleep.. Haiz.. Heading to bed now.. Hopefully, I'll get some great ideas in my dream.. Sweet dream to myself!!

Wkend is ending soon...

Sunday is here again which means its sch time again tml.. Haiz.. time flies, another week is gone. I'm granted my wish to go for the exchange!! but the accommodation fees are real high man.. wonder if I can survive with $6k for 4 months. I really have to spend my money wisely, must not spend on unnecessary things. didn't expect mum to agree to it. Maybe if I choose China, things will be relatively cheaper but mum didnt want me to go to a 'chinese' educated country. Wondering if I should go now as I'm worried of the high expenses, it might cost more than I estimated. If I really go, I would have to forgo my hostel of 2 semesters and leaving a place I'm most familiar with. But on the other end, its my all time wish to go to a foreign country to study. I couldn't fulfil my wish to study overseas but now I can go for exchange to fulfil that hope. What should I do? Genie, will you help me again?