Its a rainy day but a fun one...

its a sneezy day for me.. nose not feeling well & now I have a sore eye.. tried to finish my metrics tut this morning but to no success.. Haa.. it was so difficult.. wonder if I will pass this mod.. :'( in the afternoon, went to the welfare moral home at Harbourfront.. the old folks there are either tied down by illness or mentally disabled.. looking at them, I wonder where would I be down the road maybe in 30 or 40 years time.. I definitely hope I wont end up in a old folks home & of course I'll never dump my parents there even if I dont have a single penny.. the old folks are so happy when they see us, they would all come & shake our hands.. I've made new friends today too, got to know more people now.. Haa.. thou not tt close but it was fun experiencing new things & meeting new people.. xm & I paired up to take care of roslan, he's not too bad, just tt initially he dont talk at all but when we settle down at the coffee shop, he was talking all the way thru.. but I dont understand a single word!! Haa.. tried to use the bahasa words I know but its pte ltd!! coz I cant even form a complete sentence.. there was also another uncle who talk to us abt his past when he was a young kid & abt the japan evading s'pore.. it was nice listening to the little stories he told us.. its my 1st time but I had a fulfilling day there.. after the activity, xm, shimin & i went vivocity to shop ard.. its the 1st time I took a bus back from shopping & back to the hostel.. its been 2 wks since I'm in hostel, didnt really know much friends & not close to any of them.. sad.. hope things will pick up.. I'm not someone anti-social but it seem like I always have difficulties knowing new people.. haiz.. god, please bless me..

Independence Day...

Its my 2nd night here in the hostel, from Mon onwards, my day will start here & end here as well.. will only be gg home on wkends.. moved in last thurs with the basic stuffs & daddy drove me in on Sun with the remaining stuffs I wanna bring in.. There's so much things to bring!! It was a sudden call which realise my dream of living in the hostel but life wasn't really what I expected.. met thus far 2 neighbours but arent close with them.. even thou I know juli juz live at the other end, didnt knock on her door to say hi.. partly bcoz I've been MIA in her life for so long & it will seem tt bcoz I wanna have a friend in an unfamiliar place then do I approach her.. havent met her along the common corridor yet but will we meet someday? missed the days we had back in cambodia, & it juz seem like the past where we live in the same bunk.. but things are no longer the same again & I have caused it somehow.. Sobz.. there's nothing I can do to reverse the situation.. Its eating breakfast & dinner alone since coming here, havent found a meal mate or someone I can pop my head in to chit chat.. luckily I still have xm to eat lunch with me or else I wonder will I become someone who dont talk anymore.. feeling kind of sad coz havent really befriend anyone to hang out together, always see a big gang of people eating together, chatting & laughing but I'm always alone.. I always find people who eat alone vry 'qi liang' & my heart sour at the sight, I hate seeing people eating alone but now I'm the actress in this episode.. god, will things improve? god.. please bless me..

A blurry blurry me....

It was a usual sleepy day for me.. attended macro lect for the first time, the lecturer was pretty interesting & cute, the way he talk is cute.. Haa.. He's from UK & first time teaching in NUS.. He is pretty detail in his teaching & insisted in waiting for the buzzer to go off to test whether it really works.. so time juz drag on & on until 11.45am finally arrives!! Up next is tpt lect, his lect can be interesting at times but I feel just so sleep.. After the lect, went to the lib to print tpt readings for myself as well as xm.. after which, I stood in front of the photocopying machines perspiring for 2.5 hrs photocopying fin. readings, it was so hot & the book is so heavy.. I had to carry them all the way back home.. had to bring it again back to sch on fri coz ns says she wanna photocopy.. Haiz.. had to bring the big stack again to sch & back home again.. we checked our balloting result in sch after the photocopying session.. Oh no!! I'm allocated classes which are so incompatible, making me having a 6 hrs break.. what am I gg to do in sch?? god, will you please save me?? hopefully, at the manual registration, i'll get to change or during the swapping session.. wanted to buy the macro tb but the bookshop was closed.. in the end, xm & I ate at clementi b4 heading home..

woke up real early this morning thinking that I can do my balloting but I was so wrong.. I can only access cors at 10am.. in the end, watched tv until it was time again. I'm so so so blur... beyond words.. I made a blunder with my cors ranking & now I'm the only one in metrics.. I'm so sad!!! hopefully, i'll meet nice classmates & most importantly nice tutor.. thats not the only blur things I've done.. xm told me abt gaps which I must do but I totally 4gotten abt it after finishing msn-ing her.. only remz it on the bus home from bugis.. bought another levis jeans, my pocket is seriously burning a hole.. I need to cure my blur-ness & forgetful-ness.. god, please bless me with luck.. I need lotsa it..

the first week since sch started..

It's been 1 wk since sch started.. it a hard fought battle even before sch started, battling with other schoolmates I have nv met for that pathetic few places for econs.. Only managed to get 1 econ pre-allocated which means I have to bid for the other 3 econs.. Haiz.. In the end, I lost 1609 pts for my 3 econs, feeling the pinch even till now but I dont have much of a choice, isn't it?? taking 4 econs with bahasa indonesia this sem, wonder if I wud be able to cope with the workload.. now I can only cross my finger & pray for the best.. May miracles befall on me!! haven't started on any readings yet, the mood & motivation is just not there.. feeling so lazy.. attended tpt, metrics & fin. econs lecture but not a single one interests me, it only made me terrified of the sem ahead.. so far metrics seem alright so hopefully i'll sink in to schooling again..

tried new things for the past few wks too, CL, NB & LO (another class), it was fun.. love the high impact exercise & sweating it all out.. I like the LO instructor, she is so pretty & nice!! compared to running which I may end up fainting, the ones I tried so far are fun & sweating it all out w/o feeling faint.. I muz try KB soon, sure it will be fun...

before school started, xiumei, shidah, sarah & I went to east coast for cycling even thou I didnt know how to.. Haa... Alvin has been LS-ing for the past few days so couldnt join us.. luckily there was xm who 'lobang' me all the way.. It was fun even thou I got sun burn & my butt hurt!! Haa.. hope we'll have another outing soon.. on wed, met xiumei, shidah & jolin to walk walk @ TM.. bought so much things, my pocket is burning a hole..

met baomei for dinner on thurs, we saw this bag @ taka hanging on display.. I love that bag immediately!! It was golden in colour with flowers print. When we walk over to the area for bags, we found out that the one high on top for display was the last piece!! I was so sad when the sales lady said they had tried all ways to get it when others before me wanted tt bag too but couldnt get it.. I was so disappointed!!! When I went back to have a last look, I saw the lady telling me, she found a way to get it!! In the end, she use a umbrella to get it!! Haa.. I was so happy, I bought the bag thou I find it a little ex, but I was happy coz it was so pretty, I loved it!!

Friday was a long & dready day, attended lesson till 8pm.. the first word tt I remz till now is 'Ibu'.. when the lecturer ask us do you know what is the meaning of "Ibu", i tot it was teacher.. haa... but it was referring to mother... now I got 8 Ibu whom I have yet to meet.. Hope I'll love bahasa...

sat was sleep & sleep & sleep.. but made it up on sun with LO class.. wanted to go KB on sat but it was raining all day.. Haiz.. the rain has spoil all my activities.. but nvm, the rain has also stop me from gg out which might lead to 'outflow'.. Haa.. I must buck up next wk, do some readings & not be so slack.. have to get all my tb & notes printed by tml so tt I can bury myself under the books on tues... Yilin!! jia you!! May god bless me...

Tired...

Its been quite some time since I last jot down anything.. had a tiring week rushing through tutorials and readings.. life pretty packed with all the stuffs that sometimes I can hardly breath, there are just tons of things to be done but my brain just dont seem to work well this semester.. I guess after 3 mths of holi, past hard work seem to be washed away.. Its time to buck up, mid term test will be here again.. The break is finally here!! but the break will involve rushing my proposal out.. a lot of things have happen for the past few days, one of them being my sad news for my SEP but I'll try anyway. If I dont give it a try, there is not even a hope. I just have to pray hard micracles will happen.. May things all turn well..

Just cleared all my readings, now I have to think hard what I would like to do for my GEK.. I need more inspirations which seem to be lacking right now.. Please give me some enlightenment as to where I sld head.. Feeling sick, having a sore throat and headache at this moment of time makes me only think of sleep.. Haiz.. Heading to bed now.. Hopefully, I'll get some great ideas in my dream.. Sweet dream to myself!!

Wkend is ending soon...

Sunday is here again which means its sch time again tml.. Haiz.. time flies, another week is gone. I'm granted my wish to go for the exchange!! but the accommodation fees are real high man.. wonder if I can survive with $6k for 4 months. I really have to spend my money wisely, must not spend on unnecessary things. didn't expect mum to agree to it. Maybe if I choose China, things will be relatively cheaper but mum didnt want me to go to a 'chinese' educated country. Wondering if I should go now as I'm worried of the high expenses, it might cost more than I estimated. If I really go, I would have to forgo my hostel of 2 semesters and leaving a place I'm most familiar with. But on the other end, its my all time wish to go to a foreign country to study. I couldn't fulfil my wish to study overseas but now I can go for exchange to fulfil that hope. What should I do? Genie, will you help me again?

A wk is flying past soon..

Time flies.. Its Thursday and weekend will be here again which means mid term is approaching soon too. I guess my wkend will be the same as any other wkend. Need to finish all my readings and tutorials. Will be gg for yoga later, its the only things that keeps me motivated to wait till Thurs. Its high time to find a CCA but i'm just plain lazy.. Most prob will be joining nvac so that my sch life will be much more interesting, @ least I get to meet new friends and maybe my social circle will expand rather than only a pathetic no. of friends I have.

On Wed, went to walk around the OSEP booth and it brought back the feeling of when I first wanted to study overseas. Hopefully I'll be able to go for an exchange, anywhere is fine as long as I get to get out of S'pore. But as always, money is a prob. serve me right for not being a good saver, shopping got the better of me. Dont have much savings, @ most can only last me 1 or 2 mths there but i'll need to stay @ least 4-5 mths. I dare not bring up the topic coz I'm afraid I'll be disappointed just like the last time I asked. The ans is a firm "no" coz we dont have such money to go. Where & how to earn $6k in 4 mths time? The amount is equalavently to my 1 yr sch fees here.. Haiz.. I hope to leave here, to another place. Feeling so stagnant here, a very boring life, nothing happening happen so far. Hope to have a change of environment, prob will bring about a different view.

Hiaz.. have to stop here.. have to do my readings so that hopefully I can go for a walk on sun.. Hmm.. seem to use a lot of "hopefully" here.. so hopefully a genie will appear to grant me all my wish!!! Genie!! Where are u??

A boring day..

Nothing happening today.. missed another LO class, guess wont be gg for any more LO in future as well.. work load getting heavier so need to really bury myself under the books.. rotted @ home most of the time even thou keep telling myself must really study but no motivation.. spending the day doing my tutorials but failed to complete even 1 qns.. will anyone save me?? have to go to school early tml to discuss the qns with my friends, hopefully, they will be able to enlighten me.. other than doing tutorials, also played online games and watching tv.. a very dull & lifeless day right? how to make it more happening?

@ times, really feel so alone & my life so dull, no 1 to chat with, now with all my friends having commitments, no more shopping spree or muching feast for me. not that tt I didnt want to find one but but but... mum not pestering me but its my friends who's giving me the stress.. should I just dash out on the street one day & ask who wants me?? Haa...

First Shout Out..

Its the first shout out using this webbie.. Quite a comp idiot, so hopefully will learn to get used to using this.. feeling so tired doing all the readings & tutorials so tot of trying something different.. to temporary 'vent' off all my frustrations..