well... its gonna be yet another grumbling post.. been in a pretty bad mood these days, wondering if imbalance of hormones is the culprit.. I'm becoming a old granny with lots of grumbles.. hasnt had a good wk.. besides feeling frustrated over work, many other events just pissed me off.. what is happening over me? is that the sympton of aging?

had a small chat with M on Mon, was reluctant to tell him what I feel so far when he asked but finally pluck up the courage to say what I have been bottling up.. there wasnt a sign of relief but juz releasing what I have been stuffing inside me.. also, wasnt expecting much changes even if I said it out.. bao asked if I'm touched with the sincerity, I have no ans neither do I have any feelings.. am I getting numb with all these?? another small chat on fri was on when will I be starting my studies? when? prov I passed the probation & iff still here.. anyway, enuff of work...

met a psyco uncle on bus 147 (I'm pissed off so call him uncle), dont know how old but I really wanna scold "what the f**k!!".. to start off, I was only wearing my office wear.. this uncle suddenly came from behind & sat beside me.. I was concentrating on my book with my mp3 on.. he started to strike a conversation by asking the time.. then ask if I juz finish work.. as a courtesy, told him the time then nod to indicate, yah.. I just k/o.. he then put out his hand, wanna intro himself, I wave it off.. failing tt handshake, he started to prob further, what I working as, am I married & prob some others which I didnt hear as my mp3 is on.. what the h**l!! I made my way down to the lower deck of the bus.. luckily he didnt follow.. so damn down with luck.. stinko psyco uncle!! I wasnt wearing anything revealing.. if ever anyone met up with this situation, shift off yay... dont ever wanna see tt stupid psyco again.. still remz once when I was on my way to bloomberg to pass the client some stuffs, this guy with tie suddenly came up & say I look familiar.. no way do I know him.. I RAN off!! I'm really provoked on tt day.. next incident on bus 147 again, this auntie sat beside me.. well, she didnt try to intro herself but she yawn so loudly non-stop!! I know she must be deadbeat but feeling so paiseh.. decided to take train in future after these incidents..

met up with xm on fri for chill out.. funny incidents happen when we ate the jap ice-cream & kept persuading for our dearest wj to get her butt out of office.. finally she's out at 7pm (btw.. she started work at 7am).. we ate at vivo, central.. not bad but I guess wj's portion taste nicer.. heez.. made our way home after a qucik shopping at daiso..

had mwh session on sat, brought the residents to buy things which they like with the money they have for ang pow.. after the session, had dinner at i-creation.. the food is nice & the portion is just nice for me thou its pretty small for xm & j.. shared a soup, my main course is thai cream spag plus lemon tea & shared a brownie ice-cream at only $13.80.. pretty cheap & nice.. decided on watching vantage point as we really didnt know what to do..



Thomas Barnes (Dennis Quaid) and Kent Taylor (Mathew Fox) are two Secret Service agents assigned to protect President Ashton (William Hurt) at a landmark summit on the global war on terror. When President Ashton is shot moments after his arrival in Spain, chaos ensues and disparate lives collide in the hunt for the assassin. In the crowd is Howard Lewis (Forest Whitaker), an American tourist who thinks hes captured the shooter on his camcorder while videotaping the event for his kids back home. Also there, relaying the historic event to millions of TV viewers across the globe, is American TV news producer Rex Brooks (Sigourney Weaver). As they and others reveal their stories, the pieces of the puzzle will fall into place and it will become apparent that shocking motivations lurk just beneath the surface.
(extracted from http://www.gv.com.sg/moviedetails/gv_moviedetails_7577.jsp)

personal review for the movie.. the first few scenes really got me excited & nervous but was lauging my way thru after tt.. a supposed thriller but I ended up laughing thru out.. there are 8 strangers in this show with different point of views & different vantage points as well.. the show revoles ard in a rewind mode starting off with the president, then rewind to 11.59am, then next came another person... these go on for 6 times!! imagine hearing the mayor speech for 6 times & the president dead for 6 times!! when it kept turning back in time again & again, the whole theatre started laughing.. had a really hearty laugh.. we really sld keep to our initial decision on 10,000 bc.. not really as nice as I tot it wud be.. at the end of it, bad guys die, good guys alive which is a typical ending..

sun is chill out day with xm.. went temple before finding our destination for lunch.. wanted to try victor's kitchen but was made confused by the staffs.. everyone is queueing anyhow.. I dont even know where is the start of the queue.. the staffs are not helpful either.. decided to change another place after tt.. ate at a parklane wanton noodle stall.. pretty nice, had our fill thou pretty disappointed not able to try out the much applauded dim sum at victor's kitchen.. but we'll be going next wk with the others!! yeah!! as usual, we always end up finding a place to sit, had tea at coffee bean before heading home..

saw a really funny video, titled
"Talking Cock in Parliament - Hossan Leong" http://youtube.com/watch?v=myqyKZsknmw..
its a really funny video.. check it out if you are free..

Mon blues coming!! or the sunday post-symptons as xm says?? coz I kept signing.. haiz!!!

pissed!! pissed!! pissed!! pissed off with whatever has happened.. what is it like to be excluded?? I know how it feels, not once but four times.. gd news or bad news when you asked, what do you want me to reply?? what else can I say?? I wonder how long can I endure.. I'm really trying, fitting myself to whatever the size of the space but I'm always out of place.. what sld I do then to make it right?? or all done is just a fruitless case??

A tiring wk.. been OT-ing for the whole wk which I tot I wud nv have to.. been experiencing stagnant situations leading to my despair since I started.. but now I finally got loads of work to do!! as I told my 38, I'm feeling so happy when I'm loaded with tons of work to do.. I wonder sometimes why do I like making life hard for myself but I simply love having tons & endless stuffs to do & I hate life with nothing to do.. at least, I feel I'm learning, attempting to do smthg & having some accomplishments.. others might not understand my absurb tots but I'm destined to slog my life to satisfy myself.. haa.. my cousins said the same thing too.. I'm having a gd environment now but I wanna put myself in a complicated situation.. am I crazy?? or as what eunice says, I'm too ambitious, wanting to achieve smthg & too eager to learn?? prob I prefer dynamic stuffs, fast & swift.. haiz.. give me 6 mths to test it out before coming to a decision..

celebrated jas b'day on wed, a belated one but hope she had fun tt night.. I'm sorry to be late, wanted to leave early but caught up with last min work.. thou I had to work late but I learn smthg new abt my colleagues everyday.. had tele conf with client too on fri.. my first ever conversation with client & I had to converse in chinese thru out the whole conf which I have to later translate to eng to my M.. oh mine, it taken a toll on me with my chinese not used for a super long time.. nonetheless, its a great experience..

my wkend was spent with xm.. guess its a weekly routine to meet her every wk.. we not les yay.. juz relaxing ourselves before the dreadful wk of work start again.. but juz tt, we usually ended up thinking where to settle out butt.. we are plain lazy to walk but juz wanna sit & chill.. are we getting old?? we prefer to purchase out stuffs with a click rather than physically searching ard..

gonna go zzzZZzz le.. its mon blues again.. haiz haiz.. wishing a fruitful & happy wk ahead.. may god bless me with intelligence & ren yuan yay...

Weekend ending yet again.. wishing time would stop here.. haa.. who looks forward to work?? went for a walk with xm on sat afternoon.. kind of bored at home & she's feeling low too.. some fresh air would perk us up!! tried a new dining place at raffles city shopping, Shokudo Japanese Food Bazaar.. its like marche, just tt its jap style.. we ate meat dumplings, ramen & mushroom & cheese ommelete.. to end it up, we had macha ice with ice-cream.. the dessert is a thumbs up.. we enjoyed the huge portion of red beans & the green tea flavour is nice.. enjoyed tt the most.. kind of ex for the whole dinner but the dessert is worth it!!

later in the night, we met up with wj & j for 'Death Note Spin Off - L Change The World..



L is the greatest crime-fighting genius the world has ever known. He proved without a doubt, that fellow genius Yagami Light is KIRA, but at a terrible price. Now with only 23 days to live, and without his trusty partner Watari, L must solve the new case before he runs out of time.
(quoted from gv.com)

Its a nice one & L is def cool in this movie with his little actions which added a touch of laughter.. loved the little boy.. even thou he had no lines but his acting is natural & his facial expression shows it all which depicts his words.. was wondering if the world is coming to an end soon?? seem to be seeing movies which portrays the elimination of human mankind, like the earlier one, 'I am Legend' which I watched.. humans becoming mutants & start disappearing.. now in this movie humans are killed by this virus spreading ard.. knew the focus of the story is not tt but somehow just set me thinking.. prob I'm thinking too much.. But.. the movie is really nice & touching at the back.. had little tears forming but sucked it back coz xm is just right beside me..

been pretty bz for the first part of the week but had a depressing time at the latter.. been thinking lately what wud have it been like if things didnt turn out tt way, what wud me have been like? sorting out my tots, wondering if I have come to terms with reality.. I really tried vry hard, changing myself to fit all circumstances.. do I count it a blessing when I get to know I escape the worst?

dad had his op this wk, another one coming up in early Mar.. seeing dad lying on the hosp bed reveals his frail side.. wish I could take his place instead but glad tt he's recovering & preparing for the next one to come.. was tense up the whole day.. I must say pple keep to the arrival time as stated but the op only started 5 hrs later.. Oh man!! its a torture for the patient as well as for the family members.. not tt there's a need to do any test but its just sit there & wait.. dad couldnt consume food since morning & being hungry is a torture.. haiz... anyway, hope the next one will be better..

met one of the partners & gosh I look so small build in front of him!! I'm the shortest & smallest there with my little brain & sleepy mood.. its finally wkend & there's no mwh session.. looking fwd to trying the new rest tt xm recommends..

This wk pretty packed with lots of activities.. had a happy wk.. this wk is also the wk I stepped into the 1st qtr of my century of life.. it meant I'm growing old as well.. sobz.. hope I'll achieve new accomplishments in the future.. had my b'day cel with my uni kakis, colleagues & sec sch kakis... was surprise tt my colleagues celebrated for me as I just joined the firm.. thank you all..


My uni friends..


My b'day cake..


Cake from my colleagues..


My colleagues..


My colleagues..


More Pressies...

Our dinner at pasta @ waruku..









My sec sch friends..

Went for interview at XX this wk too.. might seem absurb when I have not even worked long there & I'm gg for interview again.. gaving up XXX really hurts with it being a place I ever wanna get in so I dont wanna give up anymore.. hope to open up myself to more opportunities.. the place is really nice & its really a gd firm too.. it wud have been wonderful if I can get in but still thinking over.. the results not out yet but I guess my chance are low.. I'm tongue tied at most of the qns he asked.. its the worst ever interview I ever been to, case study to discuss & asking my aspiration in 20-30 yrs time when I havent even started my career.. haiz.. still doubtful of the route ahead.. wonder what sld I do to be really happy.. may god bless me with intelligence & gd luck..

need a gd rest.. been so tired these few days... its fri tml!! yeah!!

hasnt been gd for working life.. its hard to depict what I'm feeling & the despair I'm experiencing.. prob what wj says is right, she cant understand how am I feeling right now & cant say much but decided to give myself a chance to try.. whatever the final decision is, I'll brave thru the journey.. there's no gd indication either, does tt means neither is a correct choice? whats the route ahead.. feeling so demoralised... haiz..

yesh!! gonna stepped into 1/4 of the century soon as jas said.. age catching up, lao ren le.. my b'day wish.. hmm.. for everything gd to befall!! I'm a greedy woman.. Haa.. had my b'day cel with yan, yve & jas on fri.. we had our dinner at Clarity Cafe.. the portion is pretty big & the four of us couldnt finish it.. after shopping ard, we made our way to Shanghai Jazz for chill out session.. we had smthg diff this time round.. white wine for the four of us!! the chillout place is really chilling but a nice experience nonetheless.. for the highlight of the night, our dearest devil-ish yve suggested hard liquor for me but luckily I was spared from 'graveyard'.. coz I still wanna go home without hugging a dustbin or having someone to carry me back.. haa.. the threesome decided on waterfall for me in the end.. thank you gals for everything as well as my first branded good - a coach pouch for my b'day gift..


waiting for my waterfall...


the babes (1)


the babes (2)


the babes (3)




My pressie!!

Our first befriender prog started on sat.. its a diff experience this time, more attention is given to a resident we will be attached to.. hopefully as time goes along, they will be more familiarised with us & open up to us more.. its a refreshing way of talking to them but I'm sorry to other residents who called me there but I couldnt sit down with them.. I was planted with a surprise too!! I'm really a mi hu person, believing jx tt he really had smthg to show me.. thank you all who planned my b'day cel for me.. well.. except for the candles!! one is enuff but XX are all implanted there.. but it was really a surprise..


Jon with my cake.. forgot what wish I made..


All smiles..


Mwh family..

really appreciate & thanks to all my friends.. stepped into a new chapter of life & may everything be smooth & blessed with luck... its Mon again.. Dread!! prob I sld find a job which I look fwd to gg everyday...

when I tot tts the end, one came after another.. I sld be feeling happy but rather, I'm feeling so caught up..in confusion state these days.. feeling tt I have been giving up too much & wonder if its all worth it.. afraid to feel regret but I have no ans.. was just telling myself how nice if it was tt, & just few days later, it really did happen.. will I pick up money from the street if I said it out of the blue?

feeling so restless these days.. its almost 1 mth but learning is so slow, wondering what have I learn & achieve.. feeling so useless & adding no value at times.. there are times when I just sit there & read.. it might not be tt bad but it made my mood drop to the pit.. sat seems to be my happiest day, nv have I feel gg mwh wud be so relieving & joyous.. it wasnt meant as a place for turning off unhappiness but at least doing smthg I find fulfilling & happy..

what to do now? to stay or to leave?

was feeling bottled up these days which caused my pocket a huge hole as shopping will make my day!! met xm & wj for dinner y'day but a quick one as xm has to go back to work.. not tt she works ot but she work from 5pm-2am.. met yan tonight for dinner.. we ate our fav Hup Hup.. heez.. 2 happy gals now.. its been a long time since we last ate there.. reminds me of the time where we find our fav food there.. yummy!!

its fri tml!! my motivation!! having dinner with jas, yve & yan tml.. then more dinner feasts to come next wk.. oh mine, I'll need to run more mills to compensate for the extra fats on me..

This CNY pretty toned down.. but I'm happy to just laze ard, nuai in bed & watch tv all day, to the pt I experienced headache.. Haa.. if I dont do it now, when's my next holi coming up?? I cant take leave for my first 6 mths or until my probation is over.. haiz.. cant wait for 21 Mar.. working life sure sucks.. I got my new hp too as a motivation to jia you or prob its juz a way of giving myself an excuse to buy smthg!! Heez.. was tempted by xm.. haa.. cant help myself but being at the mercy of my swaying determination.. I could have save $30 bucks after knowing J bought it on CNY eve & every phones are discounted at $30 less.. I bought mine just 1 day earlier.. Humph!!! he was commenting I sld have waited.. but but but.. I'm working & by the time all shops wud have closed for the day..

sat went shopping with xm as mum went out with my cousin & I didnt want to go.. come to realise tt we sld start to communicate & care more abt our loved ones as we might missed a lot of whats happening to them.. so much have happen to 2nd uncle's family but we knew so little.. hope everything will go well for them..

went sentosa with xm, wj & j to the flower festival.. last yr was much nicer.. as what the newspaper said, could see the traces of what visitors have done, plucking away the petals & stepping on them.. how could pple do this when there this is for everyone to drop by to see this once a yr?? the weather is really hot too, I'm burnt.. xm was saying my face is so red, I tot she was kidding me but its not!! sunburn on my face as well as my back.. oh mine!! ate marche for dinner, ate our fill, shopped to our heart contents before the dreadful Mon comes again.. its work tml!! as well as my rotting session..

last wk: my memory kinda failing.. couldnt really remz what happened for the last wk (prob what they say abt piggies in the rat yr is true? being forgetful.. Haa..)except bz learning the ropes at work.. getting along well with everyone for now, still trying my best at work & to mingle well with everyone.. was at chinatown last fri, it was drizzling hard & the tents were filled with water.. beware when you see that the tents get 'heavy', it just become water bombs.. but I guess nancy is the happiest with her 'goods of victory'.. we settled down for dessert as there wasnt much for me to buy with every stalls selling almost the same stuffs..

sat: spend my day at mwh session singing & playing along with the residents to celebrate cny.. one funny incident happen to xm.. there was a grp of residents gg for an outing to celebrate cny, there's this auntie who couldnt go along & started to cry when they are departing.. she started to rest her head on xm's shoulder.. oh mine.. I was walking towards her, wanting to console but retract my steps when she nearly laid down on her shoulder.. haa.. we had fun & I do hope the residents had their share of joy.. wished that we really brought them happiness & the companionship which they lack.. we'll be starting our befriender prog soon, aiding them to integrate back into the society.. tts our next mission!! we met up with J after tt for dinner.. had curry fishhead, chicken wings & veg.. yummy.. its nice.. thumbs up!! we settled down at tcc for coffee & tea.. a tiring day...

sun: met xm, wj, ej & j for kayaking.. but but but... the weather wasnt nice to us at all.. to top it up, the whole shop tt rents out kayak was GONE!! the shop was tore down & even the toilets!! oh mine!! wj was so upset.. haa.. we ended settling down at the food center for food.. it started to pour as time passed.. haiz... we quickly made our way to tamp mall when the rain gets smaller.. witness the birth of xm's phone after a much awaited time.. haa.. one of the sales personnel was commenting her phone was the 2nd series of camera phone.. to think tt so many camera phones have been released in the market, her phone is really an antique.. haa.. ej & I went home after tt as we have tons of clothes to iron.. DREAD!! tts one of the bad pts of working life..

its chu yi today!! wishing all my friends all the best for the rat year.. may what they wish for come true, stay happy always & sadness to stay away.. had lunch gathering y'day with all my colleagues.. heez.. I shared the cab with MD & M to our destination which got me really tense up.. was afraid what sld I talk to them.. haa.. but all ends well & found tt MD was pretty nice when we are not working.. haa.. he has his firm side when coming to work but besides tt, he likes to make the atmosphere lively & happy.. dined at orchard hotel.. we were all so stuffed!! had 8 dishes which includes peking duck, suckling pig (the whole pig!!), soup, veg, pork, prawns, spring rolls & noodles.. I surrendered at the 2nd dish but still had to go on.. MD & M had beer & M ended up with a reddened face.. haa.. tts what happen when he drinks.. btw.. why are almost all the dishes all meat?? coz both MD & M are meat lovers.. there are many leftovers so M packed them all back coz most shops wud be closed but he's flying back home for holi today.. in fact, I have to work until 6pm, was still feeling sad but MD asked if I have anything impt to do & he just say go home!! Haa.. everyone was released home early after our lunch except for M who still has unfinished jobs to settle before he fly off.. yeah!! guess I was really tired, slept my way home..

even thou all are gg on smoothly now but my heart swayed when I rec'd the email.. was so tempted when I saw it.. wonder if I'll regret if I give up & not even giving it a try, be it be a success or failure.. still pondering..