I'm back & am extremely tired.. I must say I love the States.. love everything & everyday of it.. met great people & weird ones as well.. wish I'm still there..

leaving in another few more hours.. hope the training will turn out fine.. engaging myself in the midst of unknown road.. I'll brave thru this trip taken alone..

feeling real tired now.. met up with ex-iras colleagues y'day for dinner, say bye to 3 & the rest of us settle down at double O for drinks.. must say, they close rather early, the lights were switch on at 3am.. tts pretty early for a club.. anyway, was kinda k/o.. we finished 1.5 bottle of Hennessy with ginger ale.. it taste pretty good initially, not until we drink so much, everyone started talking nonsense.. haa.. long live the gals as the guys ended up vomitting.. the last time I was k/o was long way back when I hug my home dustbin.. had fun on my last night in s'pore before I depart for the States..

tata to my friends.. cya all when I'm back...

there are times when I can't really remz the faces of people related to me through the family tree.. there are times when we rarely see each other, prob only during festive season or when something happen.. I wish I could remz some vivid memories but its a blank image.. another relative just passed away in my grown up years, people whom I saw when I was young but not much when I grow up & their faces are now a blurred vision.. it does feel sad to know that someone dear is leaving even when I'm not close to them.. but she's freed from aches & pain from now on, no longer having tubes here & there on the body..

Its been quite some time since I last blog so kinda forgot what has happened over the week so updating the latest I can remz.. Its fun time last week...

The fear which I had initially didnt turn out that bad after all.. went on a short getaway to sunway lagoon with my colleagues last weekend.. kinda uncomfortable as I barely knew them well & further more, I'm going with their other halfs & friends too.. was so tense out & stress, I wish I could backout.. During the trip, NK was saying he was thinking I might not wanna go as I may feel unconfortable & he was right on target.. I shrugged it off to keep all feelings to myself.. anyway, whats most impt is I enjoyed myself & I knew more friends now & also it brought my relationship with my colleagues closer too..

We stayed at sunway lagoon resort & spa.. the hotel is really a beauty.. the room I shared with my colleague has 2 flat screen tvs, 1 in front of the sofa & another in front of our bed, a mini bar & a working desk.. cool right? everything is so nice, I can pratically slack in my room & just laze around.. we had a drink at a pub opposite our hotel on our first night.. & the next day is water theme park & amusement park.. love the water slides & I sat on the roller coaster too (thou I wanna creep away but N pulled me in.. but its alright after all..).. the long bridge was really nice too & I had the sky rider which is really cool.. I love the mat water slides & sky rider most.. & of course the food we had.. we ended our 2nd day with a drink before settling down at a Hakka rest.. the food is nice!! dessert for the night is Hagen Das ice-cream!! I love ice-cream, I can finish a tub myself..

the next day, we went to the scream park.. I was really terrified & I was holding on to KT the whole time.. all I remz was screaming all the way.. hated the last theme, "prison break" as the people are stained with blood.. I know they are fake but the way they try to scare me is really freaking me out.. I hid behind KT the whole time, peering over her shoulders at times.. she could feel me trembling.. but all were compensated with a nice lunch.. yummy!! we were all kinda sad that we didnt have time for shopping.. they are all so enthu, thinking where to go for the next trip.. but gonna wait till AI comes back from her holi..

Over the week, some funny stuffs happen at office & I finally get to go on an "exercusion" to adjustor's place today.. thou its work there but I'm happy that KT bou me along.. the place is really nice.. & I saw companies of my dream in the same bldg.. hope these days continue & I'll be a happy gal at workplace..

My heart goes out to the disaster affected areas that recently strike in Asia.. Hoping the best for them & may there be no rain these days to worsen the situation.. 2 disasters strike within a month in two different countries.. seeing the deathtoll heightening is just so heart-wrenching..no amount of consolation can take away their agony, bring back their loved ones nor lessen the pain they suffered.. how life can be so fragil & at the mercy of natural disaster.. I have nothing against the country "M", but it jus angered me when they wish to shut themselves out from foreign experts & only allow supplies of emergency aids in & not manpower to quicken the saving of lives.. Can't help but feel so frustrated, is saving lives not a top priority?

...eh.. cant really recall what has been going on since my last post (post again when I remz smthg).. will be away from S'pore next wkend.. & also in Jun.. Lastly, commencement set to go in Jul (life as undergrad gonna be declared over soon.. sobz..)..

had a bored & happening last week... well.. bored = work so not worth mentioning.. thinking back how I survived just feel so despair.. anyway... met up with xm for dinner on thurs to gossip as well as grumble.. had hokkien mee as there's really nothing in mind I wanna have.. fri is an indulgence wk!! had crabs at "no signboard".. the gang includes me, yan, yve & yc..


the 3 babes at esplanade..


This is our pork ribs, the first dish to be served.. its served hot and not too bad.. one bad point is tt I ate upon a piece of fatty fats!! oh mine.. the portion kinda small thou...


oyster sauce with kailan.. its not really hot.. isnt really as nice as I tot.. I would tot there would be some mushrooms but there's none.. its just oyster sauce & kailan as the name suggest.. not a recommended one..

we also had fried ee mee but forgot to take a pic of it.. its filled with plenty of mushrooms which I love it all..



The highlight of the dinner is our chilli crabs with mantou!! when we asked the waiter for the size of today's crab, he was using his hand to show us the size of it, it showed it to be really small & I was pondering if its enuff for the 4 of us.. but when it comes, its huge!! but a happy gal, had what I wanted.. thumbs up!! but not as spicy as I tot.. could be improved with that extra pinch of spice & chilli..

we strolled along Singapore river, overlooking the "tu shui de shi zi" as what yve says.. haa..



sat there taking more & more pics from different angles.. its been such a long time since we had loads of photo taking session, snapping away non-stop..

decided to settle down at hagen das for chocolate foudue as our desserts to satisfy our sweet tooth..




Not a nice dessert we had, the choco is not hot and pretty diluted.. not worth for the price & its ex.. would hope a bitter choco rather than milk choco.. & some photos we took there..






we went our seperate ways after tt & I went ahead to meet wj while waiting for xm to k/o for our movie session.. settled down at starbucks as there was no midnight shopping for tt wk.. watched the hottie & the nottie.. didnt really like it as I didnt like paris hilton..



THE HOTTIE AND THE NOTTIE is a comedy about opening your heart and closing your eyes. It centers on a "perfect 10" woman, CRISTABEL ABBOTT (Paris Hilton); her less fortunate best friend, JUNE PHIGG (Christine Lakin); and the guy who gets in the middle. Having pined away for Cristabel since the first grade, twentysomething NATE COOPER (Joel David Moore) must find a boyfriend for the less-than-beautiful June before he will even have a shot at landing the girl of his dreams.

typical ending I would say plus I must admit I had difficulties trying my best to stay awake.. had a really long day & the movie is at 2am.. after our movie, accompanied xm for her supper at hk cafe which opens 24hrs on wkends..cool yay!! another place to hang out if we have to pass time or hungry in the middle of the night.. but its super freaking cold there... slept at 5am in the end & my mum just woke up.. haa.. had to wake up early on sat to sign up for the shape run 08.. will be joining the 5km for a start.. sun is chilling out session with xm..

tts abt my wk.. thou lots of activities but happy..

work life still sucks as ever... will a change changed everything? 有些事现在不做，一辈子都不会做了。。I must walk forward & not staying at the same point hoping for a unpredictable miracle!! its easier said than done but I'll try my best...

met yan & ws for dinner on wed.. was late as I had to rush out my schedules which is a pain in the butt trying to format everything out.. anyway, did it & accomplished.. thurs was the worst day I could ever encounter but wish there's not much of that kind of days.. fri night was spent with yan, jas & yve for dinner.. while waiting for yve, we ate ben & jerry.. ice-cream!! my favourite indulgence.. heez.. I'm a happy gal with ice-cream around & shopping.. dinner was at kfc & ended with a chill out at rouge (I think tts the name, if not, its call acid bar.. dont really know the name)... had a signature drink each tt we picked for ourselves & a jug to share.. guess we overestimate ourselves, had a hard time finishing it.. but nonetheless.. its really nice to chill out & to catch up on each other's life.. sat was spent with xm & sh at east coast.. sat on the grass, chit-chatting & looking at the pple ard us.. wish I remz my trackshoes, wanted to run so much... but had my run this morning!! its nice to sweat it all out.. will be gg to my cousin's house later to celebrate Aidan's b'day.. he's really happy to be celebrating his 5th b'day.. always been telling my mum, I'm really a blessed child with my cousins & third auntie who dote on me & so close to me.. they are my advisors & always there for me when I needed help..

Been in a pretty bad shape, at the verge of breakdown.. probably sometimes, emotion takes over my mental.. told myself upteen times, "its okie!! dont feel sad..".. been successful the first few attempts but somehow I failed miserably later on.. anyway, its time for a change.. numb all emotions, remain whats left of me.. changing to fit in is no different from putting up a false front.. anyway, let bygones be bygones..

met up with bao for a breather.. too bad, nancy couldnt join us.. evil me suddenly tot of taking pics to show her all the deli food but I only took the desert.. heez!! we ate at tapas tree by the riverside.. the resturant is nice & the service is really good.. the price kind of steep as we paid $40+ each for the whole meal.. its an authentic Spanish cuisine & the seafood is really fresh.. we had the a rice dish, Paella Valenciana with toppings of prawns, egg, clamari, peas & fish with tomatoes sauce.. It would be better to have 3 person to share it as its quite a big portion.. the down side probably is it gets salty when you get to the end.. the dish would take 30-40 mins to preapre so before the meal, I had long island while bao have sex on the beach.. would prefer the long island I had at zouk which is much stronger but of course, I cant compare, zouk a club while this a resturant.. the parting bite is banana chocolate wrap with ice-cream!! yummy!! bao love it to bits but I prefer my alcholic drink as I need smthg to drown it all.. overall, its recommended for chill-out with good service & nice ambience..

sat was spent with xm at coffee bean, our weekly chillout & bitching session.. we ate the all day breakfast & also checking out if there's any great deals for travelling.. really wanna go for a trip!! we ate at cuppage for dinner, a nice place for food.. its more like a coffeeshop but nice food is all it matters to me.. heez!!
went jogging these few days, usually in the evening.. woke up early today (sun) to run.. shiok!! & its the first time I see so many pple at the stadium..

its gonna be the start of another week.. hope everything would go fine & all things end well.. need smthg gd to happen to stimulate me!!

越来越讨厌现在的自己，也越来越怨恨自己。。变得以不再是自己。。跑着，跑着。。享受其中的快感，但却因看不到终点而累了。。活在不停转动的世界，希望时间停在那个点，但永远不可能。。不能再哭下去，要面对，要开心！！我能做到吗？

(self OS for the week) the better you know of someone, probably it turns out you never knew him/her so well after all.. some you might not have learned a lot might turn out to be two of a kind.. trying hard on something might not gurantee result.. whats probably true is when you lose everything, you'll realise you still have yourself.. realising all these while, you might be nothing more than just a person with an attached title, there's no escalation of title but only accumulation of time and the maturation of this title.. whats the use of carrying these titles when we dont value the meaning of it..

brooding over the month of june & guess only xm could say out what I'm brooding over without me having to say anything.. was at the perk of my emotion that I breakdown in the middle of the night.. xm is right, I reached my limit, wished I could spat it all out but its not easy, I have to be fully prepared for it.. but I cant give up the present for what I thought I would be happy at..

well... nothing much happen except working OT & the weekly chill out session with the usual gang.. forgo our initial dim sum plan & went for steamboat at the same resturant with mwh volunteers the other time.. a pretty plain week but had to run errand for MD.. a ridiculous errand but anyway shall not indulge too much, had my grumbles out to those who knows the inside out, wanna forget it too.. really appreciate to all who help me out with it, was really at my wits end & I really do feel like crying it out at that moment of time.. motivation & stimulas for everyday is to hang out & chill.. hope things will pick up soon & wish I can be the person M said or the high-flyer guy..