I'm sick again since sun & still is till today... haiz.. down with flu and sore throat while fever subsized on mon.. but I'm still a conscientious student, reporting to sch despite feeling tired.. 'guai' aint I?? tried to study but end up nursing my blocked nose & coughing like old granny.. but will buck up next wk, its gonna be the start of my preparation for my last lap of this whole journey.. will work really hard!! so must quickly recover!! yay..

as what jas says, muz post this comment up.. why am I always being bullied despite being the oldest among them?? Haa.. guess sometimes my comments too cold or too Dotz( -_-'') Heez... or prob I'm inborn with this character.. as what eunice said before, I'm the only vulnerable person in the office & I ended up being the victim.. LP also says the same thing to me.. worried that I'll be bullied by people when I get out into the industry.. my concl.. prob I am indeed who I am.. sometimes wonder why do I say yes so readily to friends when I know I'll just be taken for granted, remembered only bcoz I'm of some use & not bcoz of who I am.. or prob I have been tt kind of person once & now its a return in return? Hmmmm...

feeling so tired.. will zzZZzzz soon... game lect tml plus a BORING health lect.. looking fwd to the outing on sat with the old 'f4' as what jas call when she was still into f4... haa.. hope I'll be able to find back my voice by then...

slogging my nights away trying to get inspirations for my essay.. so afraid I'll end up like my 'money' essay.. haiz... didnt do a good job for tt, now doing essays becoming smthg which I lose confidence in.. prob I was nv economically inclined right from the start.. all these while, been telling myself I can be one but guess its still a long way before it comes true.. Mon is the due dt & I'm only halfway plus still have a prsn to prepare.. haiz haiz... feeling frustrated, sleepy & sneezy today.. I must buck up.. got back my game theory paper.. I'm pretty happy tt I pass quite well.. heez... the closest ever to the max marks.. guess this is the only paper I did well.. but will jia you all the way to the end..

the journey here is nearing its end soon.. wanted so much to get out of here when I was in yr 1 but now I wish I was still yr 1... getting attached to the place which I have spend 2 yrs+ & all the places in sch which left the memories of the ups & downs I shared with my friends there.. the initial fear tt I would not have any friends in sch is all a past.. I'm happy to have known all of them as they really help me thru the sem.. my 'crazy' friends really made a difference in my sch life.. we have serious times but mostly are contained with laughter.. esp xm who went thru every single econs mod with me (except 2 where my bid fails) & my 'faint' experience within 2 mths of knowing her plus she has to endure me singing whenever she says smthg & I tot of a song... heez... our freq pretty gd, sometimes we end up singing the same song.. haa.. thru her, I also know 2 other friends who are also great.. had fun during mwh activities..

feel kind of sad & disappointed today.. failed in my application for Barclays.. the numerical test is my disaster.. haiz.. pinning my hope on others now...

Been so tired these few days, ended up concuss almost everyday.. wanted so much to reach sch early to do some readings but so so so tired.. xm & I almost always ended up messaging each other in the morning to conclude we sleep some more & meet later... haa.. we nv realise our 'hope' of gg sch on sat..

my days seem to revolve ard attending lect/tut, readings, assignments and gg for comm svc.. nv seem to slow now & appreciate my last months in sch... haiz.. was still chatting with xm tt we sld take a day off to go shopping.. have not been gg shopping ever since sch started, almost all my time are given to sch work.. I guess I'm more relax when I'm staying in hall coz most of the time, I'm watching dvds in my room or room hopping chit chatting.. haa.. but now, I have to travel to & fro, its so much tiring.. but no point harping on things which can never be realised..

fri met up with bao & nancy for dinner.. poor nancy met a 'bian tai' who cut her hair on the bus while she's sleeping.. so friends, pls beware when you are sleeping on the bus.. guess she muz have been in so deep sleep tt she didnt realise any sound of someone snipping her hair.. tt person is so disgusting, he/she cut so much of her hair at the back and even on the left tt she has to go to the salon right after work.. she's so angry!!! hearing tt, I'm so angry too, not only pple vandalise buses but now resorting to being a nusiance.. OMG... & why didnt other passengers on the bus do smthg.. why are humans so self-centered at times & let these kind of things happen?

sat is mwh day.. another day of concuss but managed to wake up in time to meet xm for lunch before gg.. we played musical chairs, dodgeball and fishing.. happy tt the residents had fun.. juz like jx said... what we did for them is little but to them, it means a lot.. they dont have many pple coming to visit them.. even thou they might be repeating themselves every single wk when we chat with them but our presence & nodding to what they said means a lot.. prob I wud nv be able to enter into their world, know what they are thinking but I know I do make a difference in their life.. prob they will forget me wk after wk but the companionship is valuable to them.. its doesnt matter if we know dialect coz even knowing doesnt mean they will understand you but its the acknowledgement to their words tt counts.. the games they play looked silly to others but their laughter and some even clapped their hands to show their happiness warms our heart.. I always love doing comm svc in children's home as I had experience of old folks crying in front of me complaining abt their hard-hearted children which I always felt sad & dont really like.. but here, they are simpler & thou they do have some quarreling, they forget fast too..

went dinner after tt with the usual gang then 'huo shu' go back home to watch 'the last breakthrough'... getting the feeling of concussion.. gonna sleep soon & do some serious work tml... need to do readings for my assignment.. & I passed global!! phew.. was so worried I'll be at the mercy of MCQs... left with game theory results.. hope I'll do well... keeping my fingers crossed.. gg to zzZZZzzz...

I'm finally done with the last mid-term paper.. PHEW!!! Its an agony mugging every single min.. It seems a long mid-term this sem.. Haiz.. but its all over.. managed to pass int'l & health econs.. but didnt do well at all.. sad.. used to be counting As or Bs.. now I'm counting pass.. its hard to see a B for me now, feeling so shallow in comparison to others.. they are economically inclined but I'm just a 'mi mi hu hu' person.. keeping my fingers crossed for my merit status.. may god bless me with intelligence to last me thru the sem.. today's paper was okie okie, not easy but at least I tried every single part & understand what it ask of me, unlike health econs, I'm full of qns marks.. a tiring day, accompanied xm as she's having her labour tml (good luck yay..) but end up she didnt study much.. we ate ma la steamboat again.. Haa.. even thou I'm almost recovered but didnt managed to finish all the food, think I only cleared less than half... & we ended up watching nus cast after tt.. Haa.. hope she's mugging hard now & not watching tv..

can watch tv all night for juz today.. tml will have to start my readings session again.. have to submit global assignment soon & a presentation to do... Haiz.. praying hard I wont be shoot a tough qns in the Q&A session...

go watch tv le...

found this song in qq's blog which I have been looking for..《天涯侠医》的片尾曲.. .. Its my current fav drama show.. Heez...

if you wander off too far,
my love will get you home　　
if you follow the alone star,
my love will get you home　
if you ever find yourself losing long alone,
get back on your feet and think of me,
my love will get you home, boy,
my love will get you home　　
if the bright lights blind your eyes,
my love will get you home　
if your troubles break your strike,
my love will get you home　　
if you ever find yourself losing long alone,
get back on your feet and think of me,
my love will get you home, boy, my love will get you home　
if you ever feel ashamed,
my love will get you home　　
when there's only you too blame,
my love will get you home　　
if you ever find yourself losing long alone,
get back on your feet and think of me,
my love will get you home, boy, my love will get you home　　
if you ever find yourself losing long alone,
get back on your feet and think of me,
my love will get you home, boy,
my love will get you home,
boy, my love will get you home

hopefully.. if ever my friends are lost in anyway.. may my love get you home..

Did I tried not hard enough?? not enuff effort?? It wasnt what I thought would be the outcome.. kind of demoralised.. or sld I be used to it? getting tired when I thought I'll make it but it had stay as a hope all along.. self-deceiving all along.. tried to be optimistic but its hard when you put all your heart & soul at it.. This isnt a gd wk.. stress wk and to top it up, I havent recover yet.. sobz...

Tues: had my int'l econs test at 8am after last night paper ended at 8.30pm.. a tiring day and having to wake up early the nest day.. its a tough paper (after the health setback, another one to top it up).. haiz.. I know I shouldnt be eating mac but sarah wanted to eat tt for lunch so ate the 'softest' food there which is fish burger as suggested by alvin & xm.. took like forever to finish it, had to take small bite.. fries is cleared off by the others.. cant eat much of it either.. stayed back in sch to study & continued after tt when I got home till 3am.. but got scolded by xm.. haa.. "sick already, still stayed up so late."

Wed: a usual day of lect & mugging after tt.. but feeling pretty sick, sore throat after tues mac & my gum ache still there.. again, ate smthg which I shouldnt be eating again.. ma la steamboat in sch in the evening.. heez.. its a new product from the china stall.. VERY HOT but shiok.. cant enjoy it thoughly as every bite is a pain to me.. after which I bought lemon tea to put out the fire in me when I'm finally done... prob tt explain why I'm still not recovering..

Thurs: missed my pilates as I'm afraid I wont be able to clear my readings.. another night of MUGGING...

Fri: its global econs test.. 90 qns in 90 mins.. haiz.. MCQ was nv my forte.. its a disaster.. I had to guess all the questions which asked me when did this happen.. I hate MCQs.. always fared the worst in it.. always being reminded of the time when I only passed my CLAW paper, passed the MCQ section marginally and if not for section B, the paper is declared hopeless.. but did get to go home early today (is 7pm counted?) after a ice-cream treat.. yeah!!! but my gum hurts now.. :'(

Haiz.. suffered shocks this wk but guess wont mention abt it.. hope my gum will recover soon... I dont wanna eat oatmeal ever single night.. been eating it since mon.. sobz... will be gg to sch on sat to continue mugging.. wed will be the toughest battle, game theory.. haiz.. its a mod which nv in my life will I understand the rationale for all the theorems & graphs..

Happy Children's Day to my friends... Heez.. thou its a day celebrated years ago, its no longer a holi for me.. even youth day is gone.. as you grow up, public holi diminishing too..

wanna commerate today as I think I flucked my Health Econs.. Its a memory game which I sucks at.. sobz sobz... think almost half of the paper I'm clueless of what its saying & to top it up, headache plus gum ache.. hope tml int'l econs will spare me..

didnt manage to eat much today, left 3/4 of the food every meal.. but finally manage to eat a bowl of oatmeal when I got home after my paper.. so happy.. while in the canteen, every food smells so nice to me but yet I cant consume solid food, only liquid or soft food as I have difficulty biting.. looking fwd to eating yummy food... *Drool*