Predominantly Me..

Nothing interesting worth mentioning yet again.. same old me in the same old routine..

Feeling the return of the bleak period, the return to the same familiar spot.. I did made a step forward to have a shot but a fruitless attempt? It seems like a routine everyday with still the same 感触 as before.. It made me break down but I hang on.. how much longer I wonder?? Something is holding me back but yet pulling me away at the same time.. It's hard to decipher how the route should be walked.. I might have been experiencing high catecholamines level all along?? there's just too many incidents that left me despair.. once, xm asked if I'm disappointed.. deep inside I really was but I put up a strong front..

Had to work on weekend this week but happy to be finally done with it.. Wasnt feeling great actually, splitting headache right from the morning but had to wait for N to send me the file so that I can start working on it.. Its tough having him there & me here as I have to specifically point out whatever I'm saying over the phone or email.. Haiz.. Mum was saying probably I sld go over there but thats nv gg to happen.. I doubt that day will ever come even thou I would agree right away if the question was popped.. Was kinda resentful as I had to skip class just to wait for his mail & the agreed time in the morning became late afternoon.. My gut feeling already told me it wont be morning when he said so but I thought prob there's always an exception.. When you work with someone for sometime, u kinda know what is what.. Haiz..

& so I spent my Sat noon with the usual gang at TopOne.. Initial plan was to watch Marley but guess I'll have to find it online.. the session ended me with a sore throat.. sobz.. sat down later for usual coffee (but for me is tea as I cant take coffee) session.. There's always crazy jokes with them around but we do have serious time too.. at least it brought me away from unhappy things with them around.. couldnt join them for run this morning as I have to work.. went for a jog myself but didnt complete my target & ended up nearly fainted but I cooled down just in time.. It serves me right, worked till 2am last night & woke up super early plus feeling so unwell.. if not for the extra pounds gained over CNY which I had no luck at shedding it off, I would def tuck myself in bed longer..

Boring week right?? anyway.. Mon blues is approaching.. & tues, everyone is out for overseas client meetings but most will only be coming back next week.. I'm left to fend for myself.. & I got a new title, "despatch person" aka "ka kia"..