Just Can't Stop...

I told myself repeatly I must not cry anymore but tears just fall uncontrollably.. feeling really disappointed with myself.. I might have shocked my boss when I started tearing in front of him that he said its his first time seeing someone so upset with this & hopefully to see me smiling again.. I know I'm being hard on myself, having high expectations of myself so this fall really pained me.. Prob all the pressure that have been piled on me just released off & tears just gushed out..

But... after all this sobbing, weeping, crying.. it will be all just today.. I must brace on and make it work the next time.. God! Please bless me..

I mean it this time when I told you this..

Q: Are you happy today?
A: No..

Feeling lousy all day but yet I still have to put up a smile to everyone.. there's nothing to divert my attention so the whole day was bothered with what's going to happen if I don't make it.. Matter of fact.. there's nothing I can really do..

May the New Year be a good one for my family, all my dearest friends, and of course myself.. It's another year and feeling old.. :( in previous years, I would have been somewhere counting down but prefer the peace I find nua-ing at home more over-whelming as time pass..

One of my resolutions for the New Year is to be a happy person.. seems simple but yet hard to attain.. guess I'll repharse it, to be happier than last year.. learning to appreciate what I have and be contented..