work life still sucks as ever... will a change changed everything? 有些事现在不做，一辈子都不会做了。。I must walk forward & not staying at the same point hoping for a unpredictable miracle!! its easier said than done but I'll try my best...

met yan & ws for dinner on wed.. was late as I had to rush out my schedules which is a pain in the butt trying to format everything out.. anyway, did it & accomplished.. thurs was the worst day I could ever encounter but wish there's not much of that kind of days.. fri night was spent with yan, jas & yve for dinner.. while waiting for yve, we ate ben & jerry.. ice-cream!! my favourite indulgence.. heez.. I'm a happy gal with ice-cream around & shopping.. dinner was at kfc & ended with a chill out at rouge (I think tts the name, if not, its call acid bar.. dont really know the name)... had a signature drink each tt we picked for ourselves & a jug to share.. guess we overestimate ourselves, had a hard time finishing it.. but nonetheless.. its really nice to chill out & to catch up on each other's life.. sat was spent with xm & sh at east coast.. sat on the grass, chit-chatting & looking at the pple ard us.. wish I remz my trackshoes, wanted to run so much... but had my run this morning!! its nice to sweat it all out.. will be gg to my cousin's house later to celebrate Aidan's b'day.. he's really happy to be celebrating his 5th b'day.. always been telling my mum, I'm really a blessed child with my cousins & third auntie who dote on me & so close to me.. they are my advisors & always there for me when I needed help..

Been in a pretty bad shape, at the verge of breakdown.. probably sometimes, emotion takes over my mental.. told myself upteen times, "its okie!! dont feel sad..".. been successful the first few attempts but somehow I failed miserably later on.. anyway, its time for a change.. numb all emotions, remain whats left of me.. changing to fit in is no different from putting up a false front.. anyway, let bygones be bygones..

met up with bao for a breather.. too bad, nancy couldnt join us.. evil me suddenly tot of taking pics to show her all the deli food but I only took the desert.. heez!! we ate at tapas tree by the riverside.. the resturant is nice & the service is really good.. the price kind of steep as we paid $40+ each for the whole meal.. its an authentic Spanish cuisine & the seafood is really fresh.. we had the a rice dish, Paella Valenciana with toppings of prawns, egg, clamari, peas & fish with tomatoes sauce.. It would be better to have 3 person to share it as its quite a big portion.. the down side probably is it gets salty when you get to the end.. the dish would take 30-40 mins to preapre so before the meal, I had long island while bao have sex on the beach.. would prefer the long island I had at zouk which is much stronger but of course, I cant compare, zouk a club while this a resturant.. the parting bite is banana chocolate wrap with ice-cream!! yummy!! bao love it to bits but I prefer my alcholic drink as I need smthg to drown it all.. overall, its recommended for chill-out with good service & nice ambience..

sat was spent with xm at coffee bean, our weekly chillout & bitching session.. we ate the all day breakfast & also checking out if there's any great deals for travelling.. really wanna go for a trip!! we ate at cuppage for dinner, a nice place for food.. its more like a coffeeshop but nice food is all it matters to me.. heez!!
went jogging these few days, usually in the evening.. woke up early today (sun) to run.. shiok!! & its the first time I see so many pple at the stadium..

its gonna be the start of another week.. hope everything would go fine & all things end well.. need smthg gd to happen to stimulate me!!

越来越讨厌现在的自己，也越来越怨恨自己。。变得以不再是自己。。跑着，跑着。。享受其中的快感，但却因看不到终点而累了。。活在不停转动的世界，希望时间停在那个点，但永远不可能。。不能再哭下去，要面对，要开心！！我能做到吗？

(self OS for the week) the better you know of someone, probably it turns out you never knew him/her so well after all.. some you might not have learned a lot might turn out to be two of a kind.. trying hard on something might not gurantee result.. whats probably true is when you lose everything, you'll realise you still have yourself.. realising all these while, you might be nothing more than just a person with an attached title, there's no escalation of title but only accumulation of time and the maturation of this title.. whats the use of carrying these titles when we dont value the meaning of it..

brooding over the month of june & guess only xm could say out what I'm brooding over without me having to say anything.. was at the perk of my emotion that I breakdown in the middle of the night.. xm is right, I reached my limit, wished I could spat it all out but its not easy, I have to be fully prepared for it.. but I cant give up the present for what I thought I would be happy at..

well... nothing much happen except working OT & the weekly chill out session with the usual gang.. forgo our initial dim sum plan & went for steamboat at the same resturant with mwh volunteers the other time.. a pretty plain week but had to run errand for MD.. a ridiculous errand but anyway shall not indulge too much, had my grumbles out to those who knows the inside out, wanna forget it too.. really appreciate to all who help me out with it, was really at my wits end & I really do feel like crying it out at that moment of time.. motivation & stimulas for everyday is to hang out & chill.. hope things will pick up soon & wish I can be the person M said or the high-flyer guy..